Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?

Whilest I was driving on the highway the other night, I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the TV playing in the mini-van in front of me. If it wasn't for a well placed commercial, I woulda had an accident. Who'd a thought Yo Gabba Gabba! at 70 mph would be so enthralling?

It cannot be contained any longer!

Trust me, if it wants to be let out... let it out!

Easy boy!

Gotsa thinking that there so many cool expressions for animals:

Strong like an ox
Clever as a fox
Wise as an owl
Busy as a bee
Memory like an elephant
Graceful as a gazelle

Then it really got me thinking... What did the racehorse ever do to anyone?

One step forward, two steps back

Doesn't it smart a little to know that in just a few short years we've gone from
I did it all for the "Glory of Love"
to
I did it all for the "Nookie"?

I just glad that I'm still cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs...

Keep your eyes on your own paper!

I knew this girl who had a pair of Ds...
Well, that's not really fair. The one was a solid 'B' but I'd have to give the one with the saggy nipple a 'C-'...

Yeah she's hot...

It's a jungle out there!

I went down to the local watering hole wearing my a turtleneck, clam diggers, and a pair of hush puppies. Just then I spotted this chick climbing out of her Jaguar and slinking into this hole in the wall. Naturally, I trotted behind her. Clearing away the branches, I got a better peep. I can tell one thing, this filly had a lot of cheese. She hops up to the bar and starts barking out orders. Next thing, she corrals a Moosehead and some shots of Grey Goose and starts drinking like a fish. Just then she hears a rustle and turns towards me. I finally get a good glimpse of this beauty. She's a cougar with a nice set of hooters, decked out in a leopard print ensemble with a rockin' case of camel toe.

And all I could think was, wow, she must really love animals...

I can hear Rocky's "Gonna Fly Now" faintly in the background

Just daydreaming over lost silly string battles from years gone by.

Except this time they’re followed up by the subsequent intense silly string training montage, then the inevitable rising up phase with me one-upping the rapscallions and blasting them hard with a full-fledged easy cheese bath.

Intense daydreams, I know. But when silly string is involved, they always are.

Belly flops need not apply

Thought it would be funny to have a diving board that looks like a penis. The only problem is that you can only go diving in the morning.

I hope it doesn't serve its purpose

Just saw a dreamcatcher hanging from someone's windshield next to me at a red light. Um, how does this work exactly? Let me just type that again for emphasis. Just saw a dreamcatcher hanging from someone's windshield next to me at a red light.

Ah, that feels better.